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The Living Gnosis of the Ahgendai

What follows is a true account of an event which has so shaped my life as to make it impossible that I should ever go back to being what I was in the past. On the date of June 19, 1979, I was alone in my prayers and meditations upon a high mountain deep in the Uinta Wilderness of Utah, when there suddenly appeared before me a gathering of light along a vertical plane. As the pillar of light grew in size and brightness, I rose from my place to gaze upon it; for I knew of no natural phenomenon which could account for it.

As the light continued to grow in brightness and intensity, it suddenly parted like the veils of some celestial curtain, revealing to my eyes the very God of Heaven who stood above me in the airs, and with him stood a host of angels, Cherubim and Seraphim. And there was beneath the feet of God a pavement of blue upon which he and the angels stood; and in this blue bright pavement I could clearly see a multitude of stars and swirling, spinning galaxies moving in their splendor and majesty. And there came out from the presence of God a great and shining light which blazed brighter than any light which I had seen before.

In all honesty, my first reaction to this divine event was one of sheer terror; for the image of God taught to me in the Baptist church I grew up in, and the God revealed to me in the pages of the Bible was that of a jealous God of wrath and judgment; a stern and uncompromising God who thought little of murdering an entire world in a global flood; and who easily murdered the first born of every man and beast in Egypt as a sign of his power in the days of Moses. And knowing that I was the most flawed and imperfect of men, and fearing the cruel judgments of such a biblical God, I immediately fell to my knees in trembling terror. But the true God of Heaven was only kind and filled with tender compassion, and seeing my fear and apprehension, and wishing only to set my heart at ease, God stooped down and lifted me off my knees, and in the kindest voice I’d ever heard, he spoke to me, saying: “Greetings, fair son. For what cause have you sought me so earnestly these many years?”

How shall I describe the unspeakable wonder and awe which rushed over me in that moment? For here was that God which I had searched for all my life, and now the very realness of him and all his glory blazed down upon me and I was filled with the most overwhelming reverence. I knew then, in that sacred moment, that all which I had once before thought real, were in truth but shadows only; revealing in their dim forms the likeness of unseen things, even heavenly things.

PERSONAL TESTIMONY of Azrael Ondi-Ahman                      4
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